Dynamics of Duos

For most of us, August 12^th holds no real significance. Just another dog day of summer written in heat and perspiration. The image of a tired old bloodhound on some porch springs to mind; their owner sipping lemonade. Just a day to wile away, sweating and panting as the heat boils on. The rocking chair creaks as the aging season marches on, slowly preparing to relinquish its claim on the world. Of course, not before it bathes us all in its potency.

As I feel the heat, even this early in the morning, August 12^th will be just like any other day for me as well. No real celebrations to be had; no big happenings. Yet even though the day will play out just like most others, it does have some significance between me and another. You see, over lunch this past weekend, I was reminded of a profound fact of my life. On this day, sixteen years ago, I met my beautiful, wonderful wife!

An awkward rendezvous at a Hastings (yes THAT old video store), where I pretended to like rap music to impress a girl. A cherry limeade at the local Sonic, a walk in the park, a smile and a laugh, a spark that ignited into a marriage. All on that normal—bloodhound on the porch—summer day so many years ago …

A rendezvous that led to a life I couldn’t be happier with. Now, before you fret, no, this isn’t some ode to love. You don’t have to click away to avoid a romance poem, but, like most things in life, you do have to endure some of my idiosyncrasies to hear what little knowledge I may have.

Knowledge locked away in stolid banks of memory. Directions to wisdom landmarked with moments of my past. Like how you should always check your mud boots before you put them on; bees like to hide in them and sting the crap out of you if you don’t. Like how you should remember to keep your feet on the pedals when learning to ride a bike, especially when going downhill; you’ll crash into that thicket of brush and rocks along your parents’ driveway. It’ll really hurt even though it will be simultaneously a proud and joyful moment. Like how you should pretend to like rap music when you’re trying to impress a girl, it definitely will lead to marriage. 😉

Well, maybe not that last one. Or, at least not for everyone. Just like how August 12^th isn’t just some standard ol’ day for me and my wife, the lessons of life aren’t all carved in the same fashion. Just like the lessons learned from years of experience, there is no roadmap for learned truths. After all, not everyone gets the friendly neighborhood bee to say, “Hey, you should really look before you leap.” With their stinger, over and OVER again.

When I think of these differences in life—the myriad ways to learn lessons—I am reminded of the singularity that is my marriage. Little moments shared between us. Memories that, when even hinted at, can make the other laugh, smile, or … cry. Anticipation of movement, understanding of their preferred reactions, appropriate methods to broach difficult subjects. All little minutiae learned over the long, wonderful years of our relationship. Understanding between one another; shared memory that goes beyond mere words.

Now I don’t want you to think that I believe our love has transcended beyond the romance of our species. No, I simply want you to know that NO two people can share the same relationship. Every duo is dynamic—unique. It’s really a beautiful thing when you think about it. Yes, we all will have our special relationships that hold the most impact, like mine with my wife, but out there is a plethora of potential relationships. A literal smorgasbord of friends, family, and even foes that can shape into their own little unique balls of memory. Each one ready to teach; each one ready remember. So, go out there and enjoy the wonderful social dynamics of humanity. Each and every one of them is special.

Before I rant further, I will leave this with a few lines. A shared moment between me, my wife, and my family as we renewed our vows. A line that, although I may not remember perfectly, holds a special place in my heart (and hopefully my wives)!

Remember when I bought you a cherry limeade on that hot summer day?

Remember when I asked you to marry me?

Remember when I took you to see the ocean for the first time?

Remember when we renewed our vows?

And now, just like every day, remember when we grew together once more?

Thank you all for reading! Stay tuned next week for more shorts and tidbits from me.

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